Running your own business can be an emotional rollercoaster at times. Every time I see one of these sorts of memes floating around the internet, I feel a little bit better knowing that other people feel the same way too! The highs are so high, but the lows...oof. They can be brutal.
But I've also found that a few gentle reminders can really help me move through the times where I'm spinning my wheels mentally and emotionally. I keep a small collection of sticky notes on my computer that provide a little perspective, or just help to reassure me that it's going to be okay.
Get Uncomfortable.
This was one of the first notes I put up when I realized that I wanted to work for myself. It has a bit of a connection to my athletic background, where coaches always told me that in order to progress and win, I had to get out of my "comfort zone." And the notion of getting uncomfortable is a reminder I've needed every step of the way in my business, too--from actually quitting my job to reaching out to a new client, or pushing "publish" a blog post.
More often than not this journey is inherently uncomfortable. You're putting yourself out there in ways you haven't before. You feel vulnerable and worry about what others might think or say. You worry about if your stuff is good enough, and wonder if you'll actually succeed. Just declaring to your family and friends, let alone the internet world, that you're doing your thing is scary! And, at the same time, the only way to do it is to just acknowledge that it's going to be a little bit uncomfortable. You're going to feel like a fraud or failure at some point along this journey (guaranteed!). So just remind yourself that sometimes it's going to feel a little bit uncomfortable...and that's okay. Take a deep breath, and embrace it.
I am my first priority.
This note came about after my coach kept pointing out to me that I had a bad habit of making sure everyone else was taken care of, regardless of how it impacted me. For example, I was constantly staying up late or sacrificing weekends to get a last-minute job done for a panicked client. Or I'd get some insight into a client's money troubles and feel bad about charging them for all of the work I'd done, and I'd discount their invoice...even though we'd discussed and agreed on a price up front. There are tons of examples that fall into this category, but the bottom line was that I was putting other people and their needs first ALL the time.
Turns out, that is a recipe for burn out and resentment.
Remembering that if you're not looking out for you, no one else will. If you're not setting boundaries around your time, clients will continue to send you last minute projects. If you don't value your work and charge accordingly, no one else will. Keeping in mind that to do good work and to be the best boss/employee/contractor/friend/spouse you can be, you have to make yourself a priority. Give yourself permission to be #1.
Focus on what's thriving.
When I find myself getting worked up about all the things that are going wrong, this little note reminds me to look for the things that are going right. It's so easy to get bogged down with what's wrong: the bills that haven't been paid, the client that didn't book, the product that flopped, the rude comment on social media (let alone whatever is going on in your personal life and in the world).
But pause for just a second and look for the good stuff. What's working? What are the little victories? What went better than expected? Figure out what's thriving and focus on that for a minute. When we start to look for evidence of what's going well, it tends to have a domino effect...you start to notice more and more of the good in your business (and the world!). So, if you're freaking out, start by focusing on what's thriving.
Easy to do, easy not to do.
This reminder came from a book called The Slight Edge. The basic idea behind this note is that there are a number of little things that you can do on a daily basis that are good for you, or will make you feel better, or will set you up for success, that are all easy to do. Things like getting 30 minutes of exercise, eating a healthy breakfast, or paying a bill on time.
But, they're also easy not to do. It's easy to put them off or make an excuse about how you'll do it tomorrow. Over time these little things add up and you'll find that you're either more healthy or less healthy based on daily decisions. Or that your business is in better financial shape or it's in trouble based on the little choices you've made over the course of the past weeks and months.
This is just the nudge I need sometimes to just go on that bike ride, call a friend, or catch up on my bookkeeping. It's easy to do...but it's easy not to. Keep the big picture in mind.
Have some faith.
Whenever my old boss was pushing for us to make a big, risky move for the company, I'd find myself often arguing for the more cautious approach. "Let's take it slow. Let's walk before we run. Let's not put all of our eggs in one basket."
But once he was sure he wanted to make a move, he'd walk over to my whiteboard and scrawl "Have some faith!" in the center.
He'd explain that there is a time to be cautious and consider your options, and then you reach a point where you just have to jump in, feet first, and have faith that it will work out one way or another. Over time, I've adopted this mindset too. It's not to say that it will always work out the way you planned, but that trusting that it will work out in the end is powerful. There is so much that we can't control in our daily lives that sometimes the only thing I can do to calm my mind is just to have some faith.
What about you? What are your sticky notes or bathroom mirror mantras? Let me know in the comments below!
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